Musings of a Service Submissive

I had a vanilla friend; we met while he was the driver of the bus I take to work. He was extroverted and chatty, something which I am not. When we were acquaintances, the conversations were light and fluffy. As we got to know each other, I noticed a change in his demeanor. I found him to be rather judgmental of other people and made presumptions based on what he saw. Recently I told him about my submissive nature and he got all FSoG and asked why I liked being beaten, if I suffered from low-self esteem, etc. He thinks it's an excuse for women to have their hands all over men but the minute men touch women, men get in trouble. I tried to explain to him about protocols in service-oriented relationships, but he kept going back to his experiences in vanilla nightclubs. When I showed him the results of a Shibari class I took, he stated it was just another excuse to blame a male for unwanted sex or touching because I'd be restrained. Around this time each year, I knit beanies a

I love to write (or on this platform, type.) I have kept journals going onto three decades now. Free flow thoughts are easily put on paper. But when it comes to project writing, I can't self-motivate. When I look at my brand new, shiny Submissive Journal, I don't know what to say to it. When I started this journey, potential Dominants required me to write, but they provided the fodder. Give examples of duties I would enjoy performing? No problem. What rituals would I find grounding? I can do that. This year, I have accomplished what I have called, "Tribute Writing." As a recent student of Mental BDSM, a great deal of time was spent communicating with a Dominant; to the point where I was so deep in his mentality I could write scenarios that would appease his desires. I have been given permission to post my scenarios. But try to come up with a scenario/project on my own? I can't even decide if I need to include a disclaimer or not before posting the tributes to Him.

I understand how much courage it takes to initiate a conversation. It's also difficult to come up with an introduction that's unique; you don't want to sound like everyone else who uses, "hey, sexy..." However, if your choice for an opening line is similar to, "how is my fucktoy today?" or something as terrifying as, "I want to rape/torture your gorgeous body," you can believe I will block your ass faster than a Koenigsegg Agera peeling out of a traffic signal that just turned green. The Internet is not a free pass to be assholes. Manners matter here just as much as they do IRL. And my own personal disclaimer: If I do not know you, ANYTHING you can think up to do to me, and you feel the need to tell me all about it, will be NON-CONSENSUAL.